Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
