if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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