I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
