First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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