So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
