Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
