it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
