Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
