Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
