she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
