I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
