I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
