Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
