You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
