you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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