Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
