there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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