I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
