I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
