Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
