My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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