apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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