I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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