he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
