Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
