So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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