I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
