i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
bring money and cleavage
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
