I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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