Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
