I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
