Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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