the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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