K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
