I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
