3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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