Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
