You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
