I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we should paint friendship bongs
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