my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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