These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she peed on how many people?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
