why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
