You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
