GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
