is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
