She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
