Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
