do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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