i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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