the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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